There’s been a lot of talk recently about the City of Rome annexing the Celanese/Riverside community.

Annexation is when some larger entity incorporates or absorbs a smaller territory.

There are those who want to see that annexation happen for various reason but there’s a lot of people who are saying no to annexation.

While it is a contentious topic for many, I know that most of Rome can agree on a few annexations that really do need to take place. I’ve come up with a list of things that most Rome residents would agree need to be on the annexation list...

1. Let’s annex some more parking downtown. My lazy behind circles Broad Street for 20 minutes until someone leaves and I can pull in.

2. How bout we annex some more mental health care facilities? Lord knows there’s a need for it.

3. Annex a Bass Pro Shops. Or a Cabela’s. Also please add to this list a Target, a Cracker Barrel.

4. An I-75 corridor through Rome would be a great thing to annex. Think of all the business it would bring to town.

5. Annex the old Putt Putt property and turn it into a place where young people can hang out and have fun. Sort of like a Dave & Buster’s. Somewhere with food, music, games and other activities as well as a cool outdoor area.

6. Why don’t we annex more shelter or housing for our homeless population?

7. Annex a competent and efficient Chief Elections Clerk. I know that falls under the county, but this is a satire column so just go with it.

8. Annex Soho Hibachi and make them open for dine-in. The people of this city have been SUFFERING for too long waiting on Soho Hibachi to open. We demand justice....and that delicious fried rice.

9. How about annexing a raise for essential workers?

10. Annex more employees at Animal Control. Again, county.

11. Can we annex stiffer penalties for people who abuse or neglect animals? Seriously, something dire please and make them donate $5,000 to a local animal welfare organization.

12. Let’s annex a Cici’s Pizza. I don’t know why the one we had shut down but I have no shame in saying I LOVED Cici’s Pizza and would happily eat there if it returned. But let’s also annex a rule where children can’t be coughing all over everything in there.

13. Annex Lou Dempsey so he can be the official city auctioneer and sell all the neglected and unwanted property the city owns to make us some money. He’s one heck of an auctioneer. That guy could sell democracy to North Korea.

14. Annex a law where people can’t have elaborate gender reveal ceremonies. Just tell us if it’s a boy or a girl. We don’t need you to hit a baseball and have it explode in a shower of pink or blue. In related news, remember when people ordered a cake that you would cut to reveal the baby’s gender? How foolish we were not to see that the gender reveal cake was just a gateway drug to a much more elaborate and unnecessary gender reveal culture where people try to outdo each other with completely ridiculous ways to tell us they’re having a boy or a girl. No one cares. Just have your baby.

15. Cave Spring has some great attractions that I wish we had in Rome. Let’s annex the cave, the spring and Linde Marie’s Steakhouse.

As we wait to see what decision is made about annexing Celanese, let’s see how many of my annexation ideas will come to pass.

Severo Avila is Features Editor for the Rome News-Tribune.

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