Despite my childhood dreams, I have reached an inevitable conclusion: I could never be President of the United States.
Oh sure, it once seemed like a fun job. I’d see Lyndon Johnson clowning around with his beagles. I could do that. That Nixon fellow could be a bit tricky at times, but I was not above pulling a few pranks myself. Gerald Ford was pleasant and a bit clumsy, and I checked both of those boxes. Jimmy Carter was from the south, liked peanuts, and was a nuclear engineer. I got two out of three on those. I’ll let you guess which two.