Sometimes it is not just good to take time out for laughter, it is also actually Biblical and beneficial. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”

As a preacher, I often am compelled to write and preach on things that deal with sin, sorrow, current (usually bleak) world events, and the like. But not today. Today I just want to give you a Biblically based smile ...

My love of sports is well documented, especially when it comes to football. Life starts in the fall when college and NFL regular season football begins.

There is one aspect of the game, though, that I have not yet been able to get into, and that is “fantasy football.” However, there is one way that I might really be able to like it. If I could choose people from Scripture to form an actual football team, now that would be a real fantasy team. Let’s check in with our general manager, coach Moses, and see how things are going with my team, the Mooresboro Maulers ...

“Coach Moses! Coach Moses! Paul Silas here with WBIBLE. How do you size up the Maulers chances in week one against the Giants?”

“This game will be easy for us, Paul. We just installed David at quarterback, and he has never, ever lost to a giant. Of course, the league office generally frowns on our guy using rocks and slings during the game but hey, you know what they say; it’s only cheating if you get caught.”

“What about week two against the Lions? They ate you alive last year.”

“Yes, I can’t deny that. But we have a new strategy for them this year. We’re going to put Daniel in at linebacker. If anybody can shut the lion’s mouths, he can. But it’s week three versus the Saints that really concerns me. To be honest, I don’t really know how to go up against the Saints. I am hoping that our assistant coaches, Delilah and Jezebel, will be able to give me some insight on that one.”

“Coach Moses? If I might ask the next question, I am wondering how things stand with your running back, Judas Iscariot?”

“Judas? Haven’t you heard? He kept holding out for more money, and then turned around and unexpectedly signed with our division rival. We tried replacing him with Zachaeus, but every time someone tried to tackle him he ran and climbed the nearest tree. Solomon was even worse. He missed every single practice; he was too busy proposing to every cheerleader on the team. We finally settled on Samson. He’s as dumb as a box of door knobs, but as strong as an ox. If a thousand Philistines couldn’t tackle him, I doubt if 11 Cowboys will even slow him down!”

“Coach Moses, what about Jonah? Is he still going to be the starting wide receiver?”

“No! Every time we tell him to go one direction, he turns and goes the exact opposite way. I tell you, there’s something fishy about that boy. We’re hoping that we can trade him for Noah, at least he knows how to follow instructions.”

“What about your defensive line? You got pushed around a lot last year up front.”

“We have that covered this year. We got five lepers to fill those spots. Who’s gonna even touch them to try and keep them from getting to the quarterback? If that doesn’t do the job, we’ll blitz with a couple of demoniacs. Sure, they talk in strange, deep voices, but they scare the socks off of everybody when they start foaming at the mouth and breaking chains. We will have the scariest defense in the history of football!”

“Coach Moses, one more question. Do you think your team will make it all the way to the Superbowl?

“Do I think we’ll make it? Here’s my prediction for the year, you heard it here first: we are headed for the promised land!”

Bo Wagner is pastor of Cornerstone Baptist Church in Mooresboro, North Carolina. He is a widely traveled evangelist and the author of several books. He can be reached by email at 2knowhim@cbc-web.org.

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