‘Twas the night before Christmas at the Calhoun Times,
We were crossing our “T’s” and dotting our “I’s”
Of stories we had for the upcoming paper,
The topics were local news, sports and all sorts of capers
Of local politicians who wouldn’t behave,
These stories couldn’t be made up no matter what we were paid.
Some people get upset that we’re reporting negative news,
But they’d complain if we weren’t reporting it, so it keeps us amused.
And Sasha with much giddiness is covering local b-ball,
This time of year is his favorite of all.
Sasha is my pet name for our beloved editor of sports,
Only I can call him that; if you do I’ll get out of sorts.
Beside me young Tyler is rolling his eyes,
He’s called a source for a story at least a dozen times.
They won’t return his calls and he’s getting real angry,
But it might not be them, it could just be that he’s hangry.
And Danika, our secret weapon, her value can’t be beat,
Anything we need or want she’s instantly on her feet
Running around, trying to help us out,
She’s always so pleasant, you’ll never see her pout.
Dianne is rushing, rushing, to visit another client,
She pursues them for advertising, we are always reliant
On her to meet her goals so we can put out more issues,
If we don’t sell enough ads, someone will have to buy us tissues,
To dry up the tears that we will be crying,
I’m not exaggerating about that, I’m really not lying.
We take our paper seriously and want to do the best job,
We want to meet our numbers and if we don’t will likely sob.
Billy is our rock, his knowledge is vital,
If there were a contest for newspaper genius he would win the title.
He walks Downtown Calhoun, looking for ads,
He’s always so positive, he never gets mad.
We are getting close to deadline and we’re pulling out our hair,
A news story has broke and we weren’t well prepared.
So we write up a story and rearrange our pages,
When last did we have an easy issue? It has surely been ages.
But when it’s all said and done, we are proud of what we do,
We push it to Rome to print, then it comes straight to you.
Where you read all the stories, you skim every word,
While we sit in the office and marvel at what will occur
After you’ve finished our paper and begin to dwell,
“Did I really just read that? Is it real or just a tale?”
No tales in our paper, we work hard to report the facts,
Gossip in news is a no-no, and people who do that are hacks.
We’ve done our job again, keeping the community informed,
Of sports scores, government meetings and musicians that performed.
We pack up, go home and get ready for bed,
It’s always very late before we can rest our heads.
But it is always worth it and it’s always our pleasure,
Bringing the news to the ‘Houn and Gordon is always a treasure.
So as you read this paper, know this to be true,
The Calhoun Times wishes you a Merry Christmas; please make it a safe one, too.