Sometimes topics I choose to air for public debate require a little ... finesse. After all, this isn't Buzzfeed. This is a family-friendly news site.

So when a family-oriented commercial with a message targeting parents goes viral and I feel the need to expound, I don't typically expect to have to figure out a variety of euphemisms for, um, let's go with (whisper) marital aids, by which I mean items often used by people who aren't married and sometimes require batteries and, at least in Alabama, a special license to sell.

I know, it's cryptic, but I'll have to hope you get my drift. After all, being more direct just wouldn't be Southern. In fact, Southern women don't own (whisper) adult whatnots, at least not any place their mamas or kids would be likely to find them. Although I've seen an awful lot of moms with those little vibrating neck massagers. What's that all about?

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